


Purpose

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cutting, Gen, Self Harm, Suicide, darkness as a character, i don't think it's total shit so enjoy i guess, pls b careful if u read this ok, this is Fucked up a little bit but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:09:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you searching, for Purpose?"</p>
<p>That's all Tyler does anymore. Search.</p>
<p>And it's starting to consume him. The absence of it taking over at last. </p>
<p>He decided his Purpose was to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> highkey nervous about postin this.  
> i was feeling shitty and bad so this is a vent fic. sorry.

Elusive and essential, without it, emptiness takes over. Tyler struggled with Purpose. He thought he cracked the code when he saw it the first time, he understood the importance. 

But after that, Tyler never saw purpose again. He searched in his lyrics, his music. He looked at his friends and family, those he held in the same hand as his heart. He didn't find it.

Tyler was convinced he was empty. Gone and Numb. Unable to find purpose. His Purpose.

A constant pressure sat on his chest. Breathing got more difficult, and living was a chore. 

Tyler was honest about it. "Are you okay?" they'd ask. 

"No."

There was never a response to that.

He then found a way to feel for a while. It involved knives and scissors and razors and sharp things that made him bleed bleed bleed. He sliced the skin that he resented so much for keeping him alive for keeping him breathing and for keeping him together. 

What was the point without his Purpose. Tyler didn't ask to be Alive. He didn't want to Breathe. 

 It only grew harder to complete those tasks every time he brought the razor down again. So he kept going. Mauling his own skin with his own blades and with his own hands.

Even with his eyes open, things were black. Dark. That made Tyler think.

Was Darkness an absence of light, a state of missing something, to be Empty? Or was Darkness an entity on its own, living and breathing? Constantly seeking something on its own accord?

Maybe that's how it seeped into everything. Maybe Darkness was looking for its own completion. It's own driving force. A Purpose.

That thought made him smile. A real genuine smile that Tyler hadn't felt in a long time. A long, difficult time. 

He decided to join Darkness in searching for Purpose. Maybe he wouldn't be lonely in his endeavour, then. Whether it was Him or It who was lonely, he wasn't sure. That was okay though, he found his Purpose for the time being. 

His Purpose was to die.

Tyler let his hands slip over his skin many more times. Over his arms and wrists. Every vein that he saw was cut, until he couldn't hold his blade steady. He stumbled to the bathroom and layed against the cold tile, staining it red.

Tyler fantasized and romanticized what his death would be before. He had planned to write a letter, to apologize. To give last wishes. But now, he was content to Leave. 

He swallowed pills as well, he didn't want anyone to save him. Into his family's medicine drawer he uncapped different bottles, pouring some out from each one. Tyler took them, and smiled again. He felt warm in that moment. Knowing he would finally find his Purpose. A real, true Purpose. Soon. He had to.

Tyler wanted to be Red in his last night of being lost. He always was Red, and he couldn't wait to leave it behind, so why not do it one more time. He grabbed a knife again, and cut thin lines across and up and down his neck and hands before laying it on his chest. It would be very metaphorical when he slipped away, he decided. Dramatic.

Tyler closed his eyes, and joined darkness, the same fragile smile on his numb expression. 

Darkness welcomed him with cold arms and delicate fingers, and they searched for a Purpose together.

They never did find it. 

Perhaps they already lost it.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what u think? really appreciate any feedback, thanks & ilu all.
> 
> & sorry if a part didn't make sense i feel like i was just vomiting thoughts . also im posting this from my phone so let's hope it works.
> 
> shoot me a question if u want .


End file.
